Military OneSource’s Blog Brigade
I’m pretty sure that one of my teachers told me that there is no such thing as a stupid question. But it turns out that stupid questions are alive and well.
Any one of these questions or comments is cause enough for an eye roll followed by the classic, “Don’t get me started.”
1. My spouse has been gone all weekend; I really miss him/her. Sorry, but “missing” your spouse for 48 hours when you are still in the same time zone and can call each other anytime is not even in the same ballpark as enduring a deployment of anything from a month to a year.
2. Why doesn’t your spouse just get out? Maybe because there is a lot to think about when it comes to contracts, promotion timelines, retirement pay, benefits, the civilian job market and the whole volunteering to serve the country thing.
3. That’s so exciting that you’re moving again! If only you knew how exciting. While moving is what you make it, and every installation has the potential to feel like home, it’s tough readjusting, making new friends and possibly moving farther away from family.
4. I don’t know how you do it! We do it because our family counts on us. When you love someone, you do what you have to do. We make it work because it’s worth it to us.
5. The military is to blame. Just hold it right there! It doesn’t matter what the last half of this sentence is; it’s going to be bad. Our husbands and wives are doing their jobs. Our men and women in uniform are the only things keeping danger out of our own backyards. So blaming the military for doing a job they were ordered to do is no different than blaming doctors for the existence of the flu.
6. What if your spouse gets injured, doesn’t come home from deployment or misses the birth of your child? We face every day with all of the positivity we can muster, and drawing attention to the worst case scenario isn’t helpful for anyone.
7. I’m so busy, tired and overworked. If your spouse is deployed, you’re handling the kids, the pets, the house, your job and everything that broke the first week of deployment, you have every right to feel however you want! If someone with a typical case of the Mondays says this to you, you have every right to laugh at them.
8. Why do/don’t you have a job? We are all different. Some of us choose to work because we want to; some of us work because we have to. Whatever we decide is right for us and our family is our business.
9. At least your spouse isn’t deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan. Danger isn’t isolated to two countries in the Middle East. The dangers our spouses face during a deployment are only half of our burden though. Whether our spouses are away for training or they’re on the front lines, we are still juggling everything at home.
10. You’re lucky! The government pays for everything. Let’s just clear that up. Nobody pays for “everything.” Our spouses get a salary and a housing allowance. It’s up to us to budget that money no matter where we are in the world. We pay bills. Money can be tight at times just like everyone else. Anyone complaining that military families receive too much is welcome to sign up and join the luxurious lifestyle!